No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
