Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
