yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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