drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
