I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
