I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
