it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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