whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
