I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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