Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
