Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
