someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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