Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
True strength comes from lack of pants
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
