i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
