I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize