There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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