i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize