no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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