My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
