Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
false alarm. still invincible.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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