he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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