Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
