I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Who died my cat blue again?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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