Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
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