sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize