Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize