I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
