we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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