you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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