it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
