the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
