i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
love makes seman taste better
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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