I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
