If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
