I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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