I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
