I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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