no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
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