But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
