yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I came so hard my ears popped.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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