you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Green mimosas i think yes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i've created a new STD.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
