Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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