tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
