I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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