Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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