his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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