so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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