He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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