Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
