Dual....:-)
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
