I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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