So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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