it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
