I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
