Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
