drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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