i can't believe i had my finger in that
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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