does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
