Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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