i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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