arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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