No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
