Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
